


fuck soulmates

by MostlyxInfinite



Category: INFINITE (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Born with your Soulmate's Name on your Body, But like HEAVY angst, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, Insecurity, Lots of Crying, Love, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Minor Character Death, Platonic Soulmates, Romantic Soulmates, its actually a one shot this time, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:59:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22158214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MostlyxInfinite/pseuds/MostlyxInfinite
Summary: “It doesn’t matter that we were born without each other’s name on our skin becausefuck soulmates; I love you and that’s all that matters.”
Relationships: Kim Myungsoo | L/Kim Sunggyu, Kim Sunggyu/Nam Woohyun, Lee Sungyeol/Nam Woohyun
Comments: 4
Kudos: 35





	fuck soulmates

**Author's Note:**

> firstly- Sunggyu discharges tomorrow!! 
> 
> I was just minding my own business, getting a new prompt from the otp generator to apply to woogyu and y'know, warm up my writing brain when i was given this angsty af soulmate prompt and instead of it just being the first part of this one shot - i got carried away and here's my first piece of writing for 2020:  
> an angsty af soulmate au
> 
> and look, its an actual one shot that's going to stay just a one shot this time 
> 
> some parts may seem kinda stilted - I got to a point where I just wanted this done so i could post it so some of it sucks tbh

Woohyun’s content. He’s content lying in bed, with Sunggyu in his arms, tracing the black lettering of Sunggyu’s soulmate’s name inked into his partner’s skin across his collarbone. His fingers follow the lines that don’t spell out Woohyun’s name; the letters spell out a name belonging to a _Kim Myungsoo_. Someone who isn’t Woohyun.

“What will you do if you ever meet Myungsoo?” he whispers and lifts his gaze to look at Sunggyu’s face, his partner’s eyes are closed and his breathing is deep as if he were asleep, but Woohyun knows better than to think Sunggyu’s asleep.

His partner sighs and opens his eyes a tad bit, he repeats the words he’s said countless times before. “I’d explain to them, that even though we’re soulmates, I’m taken and in love.”

Woohyun’s insecurities spill from his lips before he can stop them. “But what if they don’t listen. What if they want a relationship, what if they think they’re entitled to a relationship with you because you’re soulmates, what if they think like everyone else and doesn’t think its right for us to be together? We’re not soulmates, Sunggyu.” His eyes burn. “I can’t lose you as well.”

Sunggyu’s eyes open further as he brings a hand up to cup the side of Woohyun’s face, he thumbs the soft skin underneath his eye. “It doesn’t matter what they say, Woohyun, because I don’t want a relationship with them, they’re not entitled to anything just because we were born with each other’s names on our skin.” Sunggyu leans forward and kisses Woohyun softly, a gentle press of their lips. “And since when have either of us cared about what anyone, other than each other, thinks?”

“I don’t care what they think.” Woohyun answers without hesitation before swallowing. “But what if it’s easier for you to be with Myungsoo, people already look at us disapprovingly once they find out we’re not soulmates and my mark’s scarred.” A tear slips from Woohyun’s eye. “They think I’m some horrible person for being with you when Myungsoo is alive and Sungyeol is dead. Like I’ve stolen you from them.” Woohyun had watched his own soulmate die in the ER. They had only just met the hour before on the subway after Woohyun had seen his name written across Sungyeol’s neck and struck up a conversation that had only lasted twenty minutes before a pillar had collapsed, sending tons upon tons of cement crashing down on the subway. Woohyun would’ve been dead too if it weren’t for Sungyeol pushing him out of the way and taking most of the impact. He held Sungyeol’s hand as his heart petered out and for the hours after.

No one ever prepares you for when your soulmate dies; the burning of your mark as the black leeches from your skin, leaving only fresh scarring that’ll never fade. Now Lee Sungyeol’s name is scarred instead of inked, across Woohyun’s chest forever.

“Woohyun, I love you, you’re not going to lose me no matter if I meet Myungsoo or not, you’re who I want to be with, you’re who I love,” he says softly, letting his hand drift down to the scarring across Woohyun’s chest. “It doesn’t matter that we were born without each other’s name on our skin because _fuck soulmates_ ; I love you and that’s all that matters.”

“You promise?” Woohyun’s voice is small and childlike.

Sunggyu smiles lovingly at his partner. “I promise, Woohyun, it’s you and I against the world, forever.”

-

“Who’s the lucky person that gets to have you all to themselves today?” Sunggyu asks through a mouthful of cornflakes.

Woohyun rolls his eyes and finishes packing up his camera gear. “First off, that’s gross, don’t talk with your mouth full, and secondly, I don’t know.” He shrugs. “Some actor? I’m not sure – they’re modelling some of Sungjong’s new line and our little maknae talked me up so I could get this job so I can’t fuck it up.”

Sunggyu puts down his spoon and, thankfully, speaks without food in his mouth this time. “You won’t fuck it up, Hyun-ah, your photos always turn out gorgeous.”

He hums. “Only ‘cause I take photos of pretty people for a living.” He says while grabbing a spare battery and packing his lunch, a plain salad, and his breakfast smoothie, just a bunch of greens, a banana, some honey, lime and coconut water blended.

Sunggyu tries not to turn his nose up at the smoothie as he answers. “Even pretty people look horrible when the photographer sucks – you’re talented beyond belief.” He says and smiles up at his partner.

“Thanks, babe, for believing in me.” Woohyun leans down and pecks Sunggyu’s cheek. “Want me to pick up anything on the way home?”

“Take out, neither of us will feel like cooking tonight, and,” Sunggyu glances back at the kitchen in hopes of jogging his memory, “I’ll text you a shopping list before lunch.”

“Sounds good.” He says and kisses Sunggyu’s lips softly. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“Love you, Hyun-ah.”

Something settles inside of Woohyun after hearing Sunggyu say those words. “Love you too, Gyu hyung.”

-

Woohyun tugs his scarf off, shrugs his coat off to hand to the cloakroom attendant. “Thank you.” Woohyun says and smiles at the teenager Sungjong had employed for the position.

“Anytime, Woohyun-ssi.” The boy says with a big smile and disappears behind a curtain with Woohyun’s belongings.

He runs a hand through his hair to rid of any snowflakes that had taken residence in his hair during the walk and heads towards the reception desk.

The receptionist barely even glances at Woohyun before talking. “Sungjong-ssi’s put aside floor three for you to work on and your client will arrive in ten minutes.” She reaches behind her and grabs something from the printer to hand to Woohyun. “And don’t be surprised if you have an unexpected visitor at some point, Woohyun-ssi.”

He rolls his eyes and takes the form from Heejin. “I’ll look forward to Sungjong’s maybe visit. Thanks, Heejin noona, have a nice day.” He says and leaves after receiving a small wave and a smile from the older woman.

Woohyun swipes his ID card over the scanner and presses the floor three buttons on the screen before taking a step back and reading over the form he’d been giving. He scoffs when reading the title. “A safe at work survey? Really Sungjong? I don’t even work here.” Woohyun shakes his head and folds the paper to store away in his back jean pocket.

The elevator arrives just in time and Woohyun boards it alone and thankfully doesn’t have to pick anyone up on the way, getting out on level three rather quickly. The floor is the same as he remembers – exposed brick walls and pretty empty even with the clothes hanging on a wardrobe rack, the temporary change room and makeup station.

Woohyun wanders over to where Sungjong’s had a white background sheet and the lights set up for him. He busies himself with setting up his own equipment, so involved with trying to get his settings all right and taking test shots that he doesn’t notice the elevator arrive and a small group of people step out. He only notices when someone yells out his name.

“Woohyun!” he looks up and comes face to face with Bora, her arms wrap around him in a hug and Woohyun returns it with one arm, being careful of the camera in his other hand.

He smiles at her when they pull apart. “It’s good to see you too, Bora.”

She smiles just as wide back at him. “I didn’t expect to be working with you today, don’t you have a casual thing with that new magazine in Incheon?” she asks.

“Yeah, I do, but I’m still allowed to take other jobs, noona.” He says and lifts his camera to take a quick shot of her, he glances over at his laptop and sees the photo flash up on the screen. He nods, satisfied with the product. “I haven’t even got all my settings worked out completely and your photo still turned out perfect.”

Bora rolls her eyes at him and pinches his cheek. “Cheeky kid.” She mumbles and excuses herself to set herself up at the makeup station in the corner.

He laughs lightly and sets his camera aside, walking forward a few steps to introduce himself to the two others in the room: the first man has a serious expression schooled over his face while the other man is smiling softly at him and Woohyun vaguely knows him from somewhere. “I’m Nam Woohyun, your photographer for today.” He says and holds his hand out for someone to shake.

The more serious man, _the manager,_ Woohyun presumes, takes his hand and shakes it. “Lee Howon, this kid’s manager,” Howon says while tilting his head to gesture beside him.

The younger man rolls his eyes and holds his hand out for Woohyun to shake – which Woohyun gladly does. “I’m Kim Myungsoo,” Woohyun’s movement’s stutter at the name, an onslaught of thoughts and fears come to the forefront of his mind but Woohyun wills them away. _Kim Myungsoo_ is a common enough name. “And I’m not a kid, Hoya hyung, you barely have a year on me.”

Woohyun takes back his hand and lets his palm press against Sungyeol’s name to ground himself. He forces a smile. “It’s nice to meet you both, why don’t you head over to Bora and she can run you through how today will play out while I finish setting up here.”

Myungsoo nods excitedly and strides over to Bora, mumbling something along the lines of ‘always wanting to model for Lee Sungjong’s brand.’

Woohyun shakes his head and takes a deep breath, he rubs his mark softly. “It’s a common name, Woohyun, don’t jump to conclusions.” He casts a quick look Myungsoo’s way before tending to his camera again and making sure the cord is connected properly.

“He’s not your soulmate.”

His camera nearly falls from his hands at the sudden comment. Woohyun quickly tightens his grip on the camera before turning his attention to Howon. “My soulmate’s dead. So I’m fully aware Myungsoo isn’t mine.” Woohyun laughs without humour and turns away. “Go do your manager things and let me do my job.”

-

A few hours pass as well as multiple style changes. Woohyun puts down his camera and pulls down his sleeves to cover his hands. “We’ll break for a light lunch and then move onto the more risqué shots.”

“How risqué is risqué?” Howon asks, pulling out two packed lunches for himself and the actor.

Woohyun shrugs, “Shirt buttons undone? Nothing more than that.” He says while reaching into his own bag for his salad.

Myungsoo looks panicked for a moment, turning his head to look at Howon. “Will my-“

“We’ll get it covered before then, don’t worry, Myungsoo.” The manager says soothingly, handing Myungsoo his lunch.

Woohyun can’t help but be curious. “Get what covered?”

“My soulmate’s name – I keep it out of the public eye to avoid a scandal.”

Woohyun nods and pulls his phone out of his back pocket to see eight new messages from Sunggyu. “Makes sense.” He says while unlocking his phone and snorts at the first few texts.

_Gyu~ - we’re out of lube – 10:43  
Gyu~ - and condoms. – 10:43  
Gyu~ - they’re more important than milk and eggs – 10:44  
Gyu~ - oh – 10:44  
Gyu~ - we’re also out of your weird protein powder – 10:45  
Gyu~ - so get some of that as well as shampoo and mouthwash – 10:46  
Gyu~ - new toothbrushes too – 10:48  
Gyu~ - and I’m craving thai – 10:51_

“Girlfriend?”

Woohyun jumps and his head snaps up to look at Myungsoo. “No um, boyfriend.”

“Cool, thought it was your soulmate, you had this loving smile on your face and I’m jealous,” Myungsoo whines playfully and digs into his first cucumber sandwich, making a face when he begins to chew. He pulls the sandwich back and glares at it. “Ew, margarine.”

Sungyeol’s name itches and Woohyun refuses the urge to press against the scarring. “We’re not-“ he clears his throat and sits up straight. “We’re not soulmates.” His voice comes out clear, strong and confident, not a hint of shame or guilt seep into his words.

“Oh. That’s unexpected, I haven’t run across many people not dating their soulmates or waiting for them, I’m waiting for mine-” Myungsoo seems to stop himself and his eyes widen. “Shit- I didn’t mean to be rude or insensitive, you can date whoever you want to, I didn’t mean anything by it- it's just-“

“Unusual? Against the norm? Yeah, Sunggyu and I get that a lot but we’re used to it by now.” Woohyun shrugs while typing out his replies to Sunggyu – sending something witty back about their sex life, defending his protein powder and promising to pick up Thai on the way home.

Woohyun doesn’t notice Myungsoo freeze. “Sunggyu?” he asks cautiously.

“Yeah, my boyfriend Sunggyu; we’ll hit five years together in November.” Woohyun again doesn’t notice Myungsoo’s shoulders deflate a tad at the revelation, too busy responding to the new texts Sunggyu had responded with – a gif of someone rolling their eyes, the puke emoji and that he just wants the usual.

Myungsoo smiles. “That’s sweet, I can’t wait to meet my soulmate and have a relationship with them.” A few moments pass. “Don’t you want a relationship with your soulmate?”

And Woohyun tenses, his fingers stop typing mid response. He glances up at Myungsoo. “Not anymore.” He answers simply and finishes his response to Sunggyu as well as sending a quick ‘I love you’ which Sunggyu’s responds just seconds after. That settles the anxious feeling in his stomach, so Woohyun puts away his phone and continues his salad.

Myungsoo doesn’t try to break the silence.

-

Lunch finishes without another word and soon Howon is ushering Myungsoo over to Bora and Woohyun tries to busy himself with anything but soon finds himself pulled to the corner where everyone is gathered. Just as he’s about to open his mouth to say something. He falls silent.

His eyes glued to the _Kim Sunggyu_ inked in bold black across Kim Myungsoo's ribs. His eyes stay there as Bora applies colour corrector, then the pale concealer and foundation, and lastly translucent powder to set it. He stares until his partner's name is nowhere to be seen and Woohyun can only see blank pale skin. Like Sunggyu’s name was never there to begin with, that it had all been a figment of his imagination, but, when Woohyun looks hard enough, he can see the slight texture of the makeup covering the lettering.

He must have been staring because Bora lays a hand on his shoulder and asks him if he’s all right.

Woohyun tries to smile at her but his heart is beating out of his chest, his stomach is in knots and his eyes are burning. “I’m fine, just zoned out.” He ignores the unconvinced look she gives him and puts more effort into his smile for Howon and Myungsoo. “Let’s get these last shots out of the way and we can all call it a day.” He says and turns his back on the group, striding over to his set up.

“Is he okay?” Woohyun hears Myungsoo ask Bora.

“I’m not sure.” She says.

Woohyun ignores their talking and Howon’s stare.

-

The rest of the shoot goes off without a hitch. Woohyun chooses to forego looking through the photos there and instead chooses to go over them at home. He dodges Bora’s attempts to talk with him and hastily packs away his own equipment.

Myungsoo finds his way to Woohyun’s side. “You’re a cool guy.” He says and starts to take out his phone. “Maybe we could swap numbers and I could meet your boyfriend-“

“No. Sunggyu doesn’t like new people.” Woohyun shuts Myungsoo down immediately and avoids his eyes. “I’ll email Howon-ssi the finished shots on Thursday for you both to approve before sending them off for Sungjong to approve as well and print.” He pauses and looks up at the actor. “It was nice meeting you, Myungsoo.” He zips up his bag and puts the strap over his shoulder, already in the elevator and moving before Myungsoo can even respond.

-

He drops by his and Sunggyu’s usual Thai shop, striking up a conversation with Soomin, the owner’s teenage daughter, about his recent shoot with an idol group before placing his order and leaving to do the grocery shopping while he’s waiting.

His thoughts hang heavily on who he had met today and who he is to Sunggyu. He gets so lost in his insecurities that he doesn’t notice he’s finished his shopping, picked up his order and made it home until Sunggyu’s kissing him hello and taking the bag containing the Thai from his hand.

Woohyun shakes his head and begins unpacking the groceries on the kitchen bench while Sunggyu dishes out their dinner into bowls and chatters on about the chapter he’s working on. Just as Sunggyu’s getting the utensils, Woohyun blurts it out.

“I met Myungsoo today.”

Sunggyu’s movements stutter and the chopsticks fall from his hands, clattering on the floor. “ _The_ Myungsoo or just someone named Myungsoo?”

“The Myungsoo.” Woohyun laughs bitterly. “Your soulmate’s a famous actor, hyung. He’s handsome and nice and kind and funny and _perfect._ ” His eyes _burn._

“Woohyun…”

He doesn’t bother holding back his tears. “He’s so perfect, hyung.” Woohyun croaks out, his shoulders shake and his hands grip the edge of the bench so hard his knuckles turn white. “ _It’s not fair, I’m going to lose you too and **it’s not fair**._” He sobs and his legs give out beneath him.

Sunggyu arms quickly find their way around Woohyun’s waist and he guides them to the ground slowly, he pulls his partner’s back to his chest and holds him tightly. He kisses the skin on Woohyun’s neck and whispers soft words of reassurance. “I’m not leaving you, Woohyun. I love you, _I love you so much._ ” He feels Woohyun’s body convulse against his, listens to his incoherent muttering and gasping inhales of air between sobs.

He sways them side to side for a long time while humming along to the music he can barely hear playing in the study. “It’s you and me against the world – Kim Sunggyu and Nam Woohyun.” He says and carefully moves Woohyun around to face him. His partner’s sobs having quietened down to just short hiccups, tears and a snotty nose. “Remember; Kim Sunggyu without his Nam Woohyun is like chopsticks without a spoon, a thread without a needle, a kite-“

“-without a string.” Woohyun finishes hoarsely.

Sunggyu smiles sweetly at Woohyun and wipes his tears away. “That’s right, Hyun-ah. It’s you and me together until the day we die and beyond.” He leans forward to kiss his partner but stops just short of Woohyun’s lips. “You and me forever, Woohyun, _forever._ ” He whispers and closes the gap.

-

Sunggyu sits running his fingers through Woohyun’s hair as he sleeps deeply, completely knackered out after the eventful day he’s had. He leans forward and kisses Woohyun’s forehead, “I love you, Hyun-ah.” He whispers before standing and pulling the duvet up to cover Woohyun further.

He pulls his phone from his pocket, unlocking it and dialling a number on his way out of the room. Sunggyu’s out of the bedroom, down the hall and in the living room before the call is picked up.

_“Hyung, it’s like 1 am, I need my beauty sleep.”_

Sunggyu rolls his eyes while opening and closing the balcony door behind himself. “Don’t even start with that, Lee Sungjong, you and I both know your sleep schedule is fucked.” He says and leans forward against the balcony railing.

 _“Whatever, hyung._ ” Sunggyu can almost hear the younger’s eye roll. _“Why’d you call me this late?”_

“Woohyun said he worked with a Kim Myungsoo today.”

_“He did, handsome guy, perfect for my new spring collection.”_

Sunggyu swallows. “I would like to meet him.” He rubs his arm slightly, trying to ignore the winter bite of the air.

_“Why?”_

“Because he and I are linked in a rather,” Sunggyu pauses to think of the right word, “unpleasant way.” He finishes with a click of his tongue.

_“Oh, OH. Yeah, I can organise something, get you two a meeting.”_

“Thanks, Sungjong.” He says and stares out over the Seoul skyline.

_“Anytime, hyung. I’ll text you the details.”_

-

It’s January, it's cold and Sunggyu didn’t wear enough layers to be waiting outside for a coffee shop to open so he can meet his soulmate. _His soulmate._ Sunggyu can’t believe he’s meeting his soulmate. He’s scared, he’s so scared- maybe he can just leave, stand Myungsoo up and forget he exists. Go home and snuggle with Woohyun under the covers, shower Woohyun with kisses and ‘I love you’s, undress Woohyun with care and _make love to Woohyun._

He’s about to do so when a hand touches shoulder and a voice speaks. “Um, hi? Are you who Sungjong said wanted me to meet? He said the guy I was meeting was wearing a red scarf and you’re wearing a red scarf?”

Sunggyu turns and takes in the actor before him; dressed up in expensive black fashion with brand names Sunggyu has never heard of, hair swooped down to rest above his eyebrows and his eyes, his eyes are kind. Sunggyu knows he’s staring and it’s not like this is the first time Sunggyu’s seeing him: he’s seen him during daytime soap operas and nighttime dramas, on the front cover of magazines, hosting award shows and on variety shows.

Looking at him before _he knew_ , Myungsoo was just another regular pretty-faced actor who just happened to share a name with his soulmate and Sunggyu had just assumed Myungsoo had already found his and was just keeping their relationship quiet because the actor had never shown his mark or let on whose name it was.

But now that Sunggyu _knows_ it’s his name written in black on Myungsoo’s skin, that it’s his name he had hidden from the public eye, that it’s his name Myungsoo had been born with, _that they’re soulmates._ Sunggyu doesn’t know if he can just write him off as another pretty boy. Not now that _he knows_.

Myungsoo coughs and breaks Sunggyu out of his daze.

He begins speaking again, looking kind of uncomfortable after being under Sunggyu’s gaze. “You’re not a fan are you- Sungjong said you weren’t a fan- because I shouldn’t be meeting with fans in private. It inappropriate and-“

Sunggyu cuts him off. “Don’t worry. I’m not a fan.”

He must have been convincing enough because Myungsoo just nods. “Good because if you were I’d have to leave.”

“I understand that.” Sunggyu says and catches the movement of the hanging sign on the other side of the glass flip around to say ‘open’.

Sunggyu tilts his head in gesture to the shop beside him. “Let me buy you a warm drink.”

“Okay, I could do with a hot chocolate.” Myungsoo muses and follows Sunggyu inside the shop.

They’re greeted by the one barrister behind the counter and Sunggyu doesn’t waste any time order a black coffee for himself and a hot chocolate for the actor. She smiles at them and says their drinks won’t be a second. Sunggyu trails after Myungsoo to a booth towards the back of the store, a more private place that Sunggyu’s grateful for.

Sunggyu tries to make awkward polite conversation with the actor while they wait for their drinks and is thankful he doesn’t have to do so for too long as the barrister quickly delivers them their drinks.

“Okay. Why did Sungjong seem so insistent I meet you?” Myungsoo finally asks, using his spoon to lift the marshmallow from his hot chocolate and into his mouth.

Sunggyu inhales deeply. “I’m Kim Sunggyu and I’m- we’re- _fuck._ ” His voice breaks and instead of talking he pulls down the collar of his shirt for Myungsoo to see, to see his own name marked on Sunggyu’s skin.

And Myungsoo’s face lights up, he smiles so widely and he radiates pure joy. “Wow, you’re my soulmate! This is amazing! How did you know? Did someone tell you or did you _just know_? Cause my Dad has always said he _just knew_ Mum was his soulmate and I always thought that was romantic and _wow_.” His jaw drops open as he takes in Sunggyu. “You’re my soulmate.”

Sunggyu blinks away tears because Myungsoo’s so happy and Sunggyu’s feels a weight lift off his shoulders because _he’s happy too_ and relieved to know but another weight, ten times heavier, takes its place, and the tears he was blinking away escape his eyes.

A crease forms between Myungsoo’s eyebrows at the sight of Sunggyu’s tears and sullen expression. “You don’t, look happy. Why aren’t you happy? _We’re soulmates!_ ” he says it likes it’s the best thing in the world, the whole universe even, but it just makes Sunggyu _sick._

“That’s the problem.” He says and his head falls into his hands as he sobs. “I never wanted to find my soulmate, never, not in a million years because I’ve fallen for someone who’s scarred and I love him, _I love him so much_ and I promised him he wouldn’t lose me too.” Sunggyu’s shoulders tremble. “ _I promised him._ ” He lifts his head to look at Myungsoo and the sickness in his stomach only multiples at the sight of _the complete and utter hurt_ splashed across the younger’s face.

Sunggyu ducks his head again and chokes out an apology. He continues to let himself break down in much the same way Woohyun had done the week before, except Sunggyu doesn’t have Woohyun here to comfort him, to hold him tightly in his arms, rocking him back and forth, kissing the skin of his neck, muttering reassurances and humming quietly to soothe him. No, Sunggyu’s alone and sick and heartbroken for the man across from him.

“I- I don’t understand. _We’re soulmates._ ” Myungsoo says quietly, desperately even.

Sunggyu forces himself to inhale before speaking. “I know, _I know and I’m sorry_. I’m sorry you drew the short straw and got stuck with a useless soulmate.”

“The universe paired us together; don’t you even want to try-“

Sunggyu’s head snaps up as he interrupts. “No.” and his stomach clenches as he watches Myungsoo’s heartbreak more.

“Why not? You’re _my_ soulmate.” Myungsoo gestures to himself helplessly.

“We may be soulmates but that _doesn’t mean anything to me_. Your name on my body is just that, a name on my body. To me, it doesn’t mean anything because I’ve promised myself to someone else, to the man _I love_ _more than anything in this world,_ and nothing, _nothing_ is going to change that.” Sunggyu surprises himself with how clear his words are and how _easily_ they fall from his lips.

“Why did you want to meet if all you were going to do was break my heart?” the actor’s voice shows every hint of pain he’s feeling and Sunggyu’s thankful none of it is hidden.

“Because I held Woohyun in my arms as he broke down,” Sunggyu sees the recognition flash across Myungsoo’s face at the mention of Woohyun’s name, “after he had told me he had met _the Myungsoo_. I listened to him sob and tear himself apart over the thought of losing me like he had lost Sungyeol because it’s a reality now.” Sunggyu’s mind replays that night through his mind again and Woohyun’s voice. “It’s not new, listening to Woohyun’s insecurities, promising him he won’t lose me too, telling him I love him and that he isn’t a horrible person for loving me when you’re alive.”

Myungsoo doesn’t speak up, only stares intently at Sunggyu, so he continues.

“I can’t imagine what it feels like to wait years for your soulmate, only to meet them and then watch them die only hours later. I can’t.” Sunggyu swallows. “But I know what the aftermath looks like. The aftermath looks like Woohyun, talks like Woohyun, thinks like Woohyun. He’s riddled with insecurities and fears that I’ve _spent years_ trying to heal and ones I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to heal. It looks like waking up from nightmares screaming, calling my name and Sungyeol’s in conjunction, holding onto me desperately as he cries for me to stay and the look of utter relief on his face when he realises I’m not dead, that I’m right there with him, but also the pain that fills him when he realises I’m not Sungyeol, that I’m not the soulmate he watched die.”

“I met Woohyun a few years after Sungyeol’s death, at one of Sungjong’s Christmas parties, and I remember talking to him and _clicking_ with him so well that if I didn’t know it was your name written on me I would’ve been so sure it was Woohyun’s. Being with Woohyun feels _so right_ : it feels like how my parents describe being together, how Woohyun’s parents describe being together, it, ironically, feels like we’re soulmates like we were made for each other. I love him so much and I know, _I know_ he loves me too.”

“But I don’t know how many times I’ve had the same conversation with him about the day I find you and what will happen to our relationship.” Sunggyu rubs the inside of his ring finger. “I can’t count how many times he’s put me before himself and how many times he’s told me that it would just be easier for me to leave him when I find you. And I know it would be easier to leave him and be with you because we’re soulmates, people would stop looking at me as if I’ve murdered someone, _worse_ even. But I can’t leave him.”

“Because you love him,” Myungsoo whispers and sinks in his seat.

“I do.” Sunggyu nods. “So my answer to him is always the same, ‘if I ever meet my soulmate, I’ll explain to them, that even though we’re soulmates, I’m taken and in love’. That was one of my reasons for meeting with you but also to urge you to pave your own path and fall in love with someone else who can actually love you back.” He holds Myungsoo’s gaze as he finishes. “Don’t wait for me.”

The actor falls silent for a long time and Sunggyu doesn’t dare break that silence, only sips at his long gone cold coffee to soothe his dry throat. He watches Myungsoo shuffle through a range of emotions and facial expressions before finally looking back at Sunggyu and speaking.

“I understand now. You’re happy and I respect that.” He whispers. “Thank you for telling me and opening up, you could’ve just ignored my existence and left me waiting, but you didn’t and that shows me you’re a good person.” Myungsoo takes a long gulp of his now cold hot chocolate. “I would like it if we could try and be friends, some people don’t click romantically with their soulmates and end up with a platonic relationship instead, maybe we could try that?”

Sunggyu smiles softly at Myungsoo. “I’d love to be friends, Myungsoo.”

“Okay then.” He holds his hand out for Sunggyu to shake. “Friends?”

Sunggyu takes the offered hand and shakes. “Friends.” He confirms.

-

Lunchtime arrives just as Sunggyu arrives back home and he’s emotionally exhausted after his morning with Myungsoo and the hours they had spent getting to know each other after. Sunggyu feels warm inside, comforted, that he knows he and Myungsoo will make great friends. He shuffles out of his shoes, hanging his winter coat on the rack next to a matching set of blue ones belonging to Woohyun, as well as he scarf and beanie.

The inside of their apartment sits at nice and cosy temperature and Sunggyu can smell something sweet baking in the oven. He rubs his eyes and wanders into the living room, finding Woohyun set up nicely wrapped up in blankets, a movie playing quietly and a novel in his hands. Sunggyu’s heartaches in such a pleasant way looking at Woohyun.

He trudges over to the couch and lets himself slump down next to Woohyun, leaning into his partner’s side and inhaling his cologne.

“Where have you been all morning?”

“With Myungsoo,” Sunggyu answers honestly.

Woohyun’s body goes rigid and he stops mid-page turn of his book before looking at Sunggyu with wide eyes. “Why?” his voice is small with underlying fear.

“I did exactly what I told you I would do if I ever met him: I sat him down, bought him coffee and explained to him that _I love you_ and that I’m taken.” Sunggyu smiles and holds Woohyun’s face in his hands. “And he understood.”

His partner viably relaxes and presses into Sunggyu’s touch. “What happens now?”

“We’ve agreed to be platonic soulmates, _friends,_ ” Sunggyu says and moves his hands to run his fingers through Woohyun’s hair, pushing it from his partner’s face.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He smiles. “And I’m thinking about setting him up with Sungjong, god knows that kid’s been so unlucky with his love life.”

“It’ll be good for them both I guess,” Woohyun muses and lifts his own hand to hold Sunggyu’s face. “Especially for Sungjong, he’s been hopeless without having a soulmate. I can’t imagine not having Sungyeol’s name on my skin.”

One of Sunggyu’s hands drifts down to rest over Woohyun’s scarring while his own mark pulses. “Maybe he’s lucky.”

“Lucky?” Woohyun asks with a tilt of his head?

“Soulmates are troublesome things; I’d rather pave my own path and fall deeper in love with you,” Sunggyu says softly and leans in close to Woohyun’s face.

Woohyun’s expression softens and he smiles. “I love you, Sunggyu.”

“I love you too, Woohyun.” He says and closes the gap between them.


End file.
